


The Thing You Love Most

by ellacj



Series: 52 Weeks of Swan Queen [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 3x11 Rewrite, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:16:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3129227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellacj/pseuds/ellacj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"A sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier times."</p><p>-Alfred Lord Tennyson</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Thing You Love Most

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blanketed_in_stars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blanketed_in_stars/gifts).



> Week 1

“Regina?” Emma shouts, shaking the shoulder of the woman lying on the ground. And then, a hand gripping her forearm with superhuman strength.

“Emma,” she breathes. But somehow, it sounds sad; almost regretful.

Emma pulls Regina to her feet and rests a gentle hand on her arm. “Are you okay? What did you see?”

Regina doesn’t answer at first. Then, finally, she exhales a breath that seems more like a sob, one that racks her entire frame. “I saw the price I have to pay to save everyone here. I have to give up the thing I love most.” She turns her head away, and Emma suspects there are tears being shed from beautiful brown eyes and she wants nothing more than to hug her tight.

“And what’s that?”

“Storybrooke.”

Emma tilts her head, confused at her answer. “Storybrooke?”

“This town has given me everything I’ve ever wanted. I had power, I had my revenge, and I found my family here. Of course it’s the thing I love most.”

“Oh.” Emma smiles slightly, pleased to hear Regina say she found her family here, rather than just her son. “So how exactly do you give up Storybrooke?”

“Everyone here will be sent back to the Enchanted Forest with this curse and Storybrooke will be destroyed.” She pauses for a moment, appearing to strain with the next words. When she opens her mouth again, her voice is tight and her eyes are dull. “Along with my memories of it.”

And there it is, that wave of utter hopelessness crashing down over Emma’s head that always appears when she trusts too much. And this time it wasn’t anyone else who betrayed her; no, Regina isn’t the one to blame here. Emma simply put too must trust in herself and her own ability to make herself happy. “So you won’t… you won’t remember anything from Storybrooke?”

“Not a thing.” Regina turns to face the people standing around them, looking directly into the eyes of Snow White. “And it’s extremely important that you never try to make me remember. If I ever regain my memories, or even any knowledge of this town, the curse will be broken and we’ll all fall victim to Pan’s curse. And I truly, deeply apologize for everything I will do when we return.” And she turns back to face Emma, the tears in her eyes close to spilling over. “I’ll miss you.”

“Wait, what? I’m going with you, aren’t I?”

Regina shakes her head. “Henry wasn’t born in the Enchanted Forest. He won’t be able to go back with the rest of us, and we can’t send him into the world by himself.” Gently, with all the love and tenderness an Evil Queen shouldn’t be able to have, Regina takes Emma’s hand in both of hers. “You have to go with him.”

Emma feels her own eyes fill with tears threatening to spill over. “But… this wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to have a happy ending. Just the three of us. I can’t – I can’t give that up.”

“You have to.” Regina gently cups Emma’s face in her hands, standing up on her toes to press the softest of kisses on her forehead. “I love you,” she whispers too quietly for anyone but Emma to hear.

“I love you too.”

And that’s the last thing Emma says to the woman who gave her everything.

 

It’s been a week.

Seven days since they crossed the town line and bought an apartment in New York with Regina’s unused fortune, and it feels like a year without Regina’s touch. Emma yearns for it, needs it like she needs to breathe. Henry keeps telling her she needs to find work and she knows in her mind that he’s right, but she can’t find the motivation to go out and participate in a world without Regina.

It’s not that she can’t live without her because she can; it’s just that she really, _really_ doesn’t want to. It’s just not fair that she had to leave. She’s the Savior, meant to bring everyone their happy ending, but she failed to bring about her own, failed to bring it to the one who needed it most of all.

Henry’s sleeping in more and more, and Emma suspects it’s for the same reason as her – the world out there just isn’t the same without Regina there. She supposes the worst part is that Regina doesn’t remember them. Nothing from their time together; not one single word. Not even a flicker of a second from Storybrooke, and she’s probably back to being the Evil Queen that terrorized her world to hide the fact that she was just a scared little girl who wanted her mother to love her.

Slowly, Emma heaves herself off of the couch and heads down the hallway to where Henry’s bedroom door is closed. She knocks once, twice. “Henry?” she asks softly. “You okay in there?” He doesn’t reply so she pushes the door open, finding him hunched over on the bed and staring at his lap with a blank expression. He reminds her too much of the kids in foster homes whose parents died, or left them alone too late in life for the kid to be okay. Her heart wrenches and she goes to sit beside him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I miss Mom.”

Emma sighs. She leans against him and gently wraps her arms around his shoulders, squeezing him close to her. “I know, kid. I miss her too.”

 

“Run, run, _princess_ ,” Regina spits, a wicked smile spreading across her face.

Snow shakes her head. “This isn’t you, Regina. You’re better than this.”

A mirthless laugh escapes Regina’s lips and her eyes darken into a steely gray. “Despite your insistence upon seeing the good in everyone, Snow White, you won’t find any here. I’m not like you.” She curls her lip. “Now get out of my palace before I change my mind and incinerate you where you stand.”

Standing on quivering legs, Snow’s face breaks into a smile. “You let me go. You’re changing Regina, whether you like it or not.” And then she’s gone, scrambling out the door before Regina does indeed change her mind.

Regina sighs. She has been feeling different lately. It’s almost like a strange companionship with Snow, almost like she… she might _like_ her. She scoffs. She’s spent her entire life trying to destroy Snow; she’s just upset that the dark curse didn’t work. She hates Snow White with all of her being, and nothing will ever change that.

 

Emma’s heard stories of a wizard in China who could solve people’s problems with magic, before he was killed by a man with a wooden leg. She almost smiles when she hears that. August was never a patient guy. But she doesn’t smile; she rests her head in her hands and groans. Because that man was her last chance, the last person in this world who could reverse Regina’s curse and reunite her family.

Henry’s started going to school by now and Emma’s begun her training at the police academy. To the uninformed observer it may look like they’re settling it, but no one knows that Emma has a suitcase in the back of her closet with clothes and necessities for both herself and Henry, so that they can leave at a moment’s notice if and when they get that phone call saying that Storybrooke and its inhabitants have returned.

It’s the falsest hope she’s ever let herself have.

No one knows about it; even Henry thinks she’s finally let it go. She lets him believe it because maybe he can be happy if he thinks she is too. But the fact is that Regina and Henry and Snow and David were the first family she’s ever know, and she’s not about to give that up so easily. No, that suitcase will remain in her closet and collect dust until she either hauls it out to go to Storybrooke or until she dies. She’s not giving up.

When she gets home from her training that day, the home phone is flashing a red light to signify that there’s a voicemail. Emma frowns. They don’t have friends in the city yet. She clicks the button to listen to it, and as the person on the other end recites the message, a smile grows on her face. She doesn’t even wait for the message to finish before running to her bedroom closet and grabbing two things. One of them is her Storybrooke suitcase.

The other is her red leather jacket.


End file.
